Wordsforlove1479's Blog

Hello everyone who reads this.

I haven't been to this site in at least four months or so. I have been too busy, quite frankly.

I would like you all to know something very important....

WITHIN THE NEXT TWO YEARS, I WILL HAVE A PUBLISHED BOOK ON SHELVES ALL ACROSS AMERICA.

If you want more detail, please comment, so we can talk more privately.

I MISSED YOU GUYS!!!!

~!~ B~!~

shit

i have nothing to say. but maybe i need to say something. is it mandatory? am i stuck in a rut, or a bad memory played on repeat? i'm sick of it. the pretending, the masks, the feigning of caring. i have a heart, but i cant feel it... at least, not right now.

i'm falling. my lips are turning blue. i....cant....breathe.....

seeking. trying to find. i cant see anything.

i dont know you. i dont know anyone really. can you look at your best friend and really know everything aout them?

no. and even then, you die alone. even if someone is there beside you, their not coming with you. your. all. alone.

i'm ready. i want this glass box around me to shatter. i want out. i'm ready.

the music on my ipod doesnt help. its too familiar; repetitive. like my life.

no suprise there. i want suprise. i want contact. i want.. i want.... i want......

maybe i need. maybe this is all about need, not want. maybe, mabye, maybe...

nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono

i'm..........screaming

screaming until the blood runs to my face. screaming until my eyes feel as if they are about to burst. screaming until my voice turns hoarse and my tongue swells and dries out.

i'm still falling.......

d

o

n

'

t

c

a

t

c

h

m

e

.......

death. the end.

* All names have been changed to protect the innocent; and not so innocnet *

I coincider  myself a very tolerant person. I mean, I've put up with a lot of bullshit in my life; from teachers, from guys, from parents, from my foster sister, from friends; you name it, I've put up with it.

Now, I'm not going for sympathy here. I'm just saying, I'm a pretty laid-back person. But the shit-head who ever created this one guy, ONE GUY needs to be locked up for a ver, very, VERY long time.

I'm at the public beach; minding my own ass, right? Well over trundles this shit-head of a human male. He's about two grades lower then me, and a total fucking loser. He probably jacks off in the shower, that's the only thing he has ever he was 4-timing those sixth graders two years ago.

Anyway, I'm at the pool with my friends; two other girls and three guys. My best buddies in the entire world. He trundles over and stands over Sarah. She looks up at him.

"Move." She orders him. Sarah doesn't take any bullshit from anyone. Well, this sleezebag just snorts and says,

"Aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine?"

Of course, this pisses us all off.

"Go fuck yourself, dill-hole." Sam -- yeah, he's a guy -- retorts. Sam likes to believe that he protects us.

"Make me, ass-monkey." Sleeze-bag snarls.

"Why the fuck are you over here, pissing us the hell off for anyway?" Tye asks. Sleeze rolls his eyes.

"I'm supposed to deliever a message to Bella." He says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at me.

Now, I was licking a fudge-monkey over on the sidewalk. I was watching this all unfold, because as a beach rule, no fudge-monkey's are allowed to be ingested on the sand. Plus, Sam would throw sand on it so I couldn't eat it, anyway.

"Me!?" I sqwak. Sleeze-bag creeps me the hell out, so I always steer clear of him. He smells like fucking balls anyway.

"Why do you want to talk to Bella?" Sam asks, standing up. Sam and I kind of have a thing for each other, even though it's not offical yet.

"I have a message for her." Sleeze says. He crosses over to me. 

Now, we're standing so that our sides are visable to my friends. I'm standing with my left hand to the beach; that hand is holding the fudge-monkey. He's standing with his right hand towards the beach. Out of my perfrial vision, I see Sam stand up and start walking towards us. Sleeze comes up to me and stands really close. I can smell his nasty-ass breath, that's how close he is.

"You look fucking sexy in that bathing suit." He growls. 

And then he hooks his fingers under my bikini top, and.... takes a look.

Now, I'm not beautiful. I'm a freakin' 36 B cup, and that's ahrdly overwhelming on my 5'9'' frame. Who the fuck does this guy think he is ANYWAY!?

This is about the time Sam's fist connects with Sleez's face. Sleeze goes down, Sam beating the shit out of him. It takes Tye and Aaron to pry Sam off. Sam's swearing, and people are staring. 

We're kicked off the beach, but not before I dump the rest of my Fudge-Monkey down the front of Sleez's swimming trunks. 

Sam's my fucking super-hero.  

:D

1-when you're sad, I will help you get drunk, and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2-when you're blue, I will try dislodge whats choking you.

3-when you smile, I ill know you finally got laid.

4-when you're scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5-when you're worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6-when you're confused, I will use little words.

7-when you're sick, stay the hell awaw from me until you're well again. I dont want whatever you've got.

8-when you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass, and then think about helping your dumbass up.

A good friend will help you move.

A great friend will help you move a body.....Let me know if you ever need a shovel.

<3 ~~ Love you guys

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I am your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

I loved him yesterday,

I love him still,

I always have,

And always will,

And with this knife,

Through my heart,

I'm flying up above,

And I want everyone to know,

I died for my True Love....

They dragged her across the room, the sounds of her struggles rebounding off the walls, and her blisteringly angry snarls flew right to my ears.

The human servant's heartrate sped up as they brought her closer to me, and irrovecally him. I sighed and told him to leave the room. He left quickly.

"Crime?" I asked. Range and Pyro exchanged a glance.

"She's not vampire, sir." Range replied as he tightened his grip on her. She never ceased her struggles. I righted myself and glared at them.

"What do you mean? She's as vampire as you or me!" I scorned. Her snarling reduced to growling. The two exchanged another glance.

  "Show him, Range." Pyro demanded. Range shook his head.

"You do it." he replied.

Pyro sighed and bent closer to the girl. "Show him your eyes." He demanded her. She refused. Pyro glanced up at me before taking a tight grip on her hair. He tugged her face up to meet mine, and she let loose a gutteral snarl.

I stared in shock. Her features were everything like a vampires; pale, thin skin, with bruise-like shadows under the eyes. A thin mouth, but full and pink. But here eyes were two different colors; brown and green.

"We don't know what she is, sir." Pyro said. I stood and walked down the short flight of stairs to where they stood.

"Release her." I demanded. The two exchanged a glance.

"Sir, I don't think-" Range started, but I snarled at him. The two hesitated, but released the girl, and backed away.

She dropped on the floor to her knees, but quickly righted herself. I hesitated, and then raised a hand and pressed my knuckles lightly to her cheek. She didn't flinch, but her hands balled up into fists. I lightly drew a cirlce on her cheek with my thumb. I saw suprise flicker in her eyes, and she reached up to touch my hand.

"Are you her?" I asked her.

I placed my other hand on her other cheek, and brought my body carefully closer to hers. Her hand dropped, and she placed it -- along with her other hand -- on my waist to keep me from comming any closer to her. I cradled her face in my hands, heard the beating of her heart; but woosh of blood through her veins.

"Are you her who must not be searched?" I asked, more specific this time.

Her eyes became gaurded, and she swiftly strained away from me. I dropped my hands, and she dropped hers. I took a step back, and watched her, curious.

"Are you him who must be killed?" She asked. Her voice was bitter, and I gave her a grim smile. 

"It's nice to meet you, at last." I said, anger and sadness colorfing my tone.

The strangest expression crossed her face, and she set her jaw.

"I would say likewise, but sice your going to kill me, I won't." she said.

And then she crumpled to the floor, writhing in pain.

I bent down quickly, to hold her in place. She shut her eyes, and clenched her jaw, and soon, the shaking subsided. When she opened her eyes, they were no more two different colors. The brown of the vampire was gone; the green of the human replaced it.

"Half human, half vamp!?" Range exclaimed. I offered her my hand, but she refused it, and stood on shaky legs.

"Take her to the second floor." I whispered, my eyes never leaving her face. She was no longer pale and vampire-like; she was pure human.

"The sencond floor?" Pyro asked, incredulas. I raised my eyes to his face, glaring.

"Did I stutter?" I hissed. They both shook their heads, and stepped up to take her arms. "I will be seeing you later..." I said to her.

"Claire." she spat.

"I will be seeing you later, Claire." I said, smiling.

Her eyes filled with hate, but she went quietly.

okayy, this is just me and what i've been dweling on lately.....

"i'm walking down the street. it's dark, and i know i have to get home soon; cerfew was 15 minutes ago, and mom is going to skin me alive. car headlights flash behind me. i turn to look. BAM....i'm dead."

no one ever expected the drunk driver to kill that young girl. she had a normal life. she hated shool, fought with her parents, laughed with her friends. she was sweet and crazy and nice. everyone liked her, she was someone people liked to talk to. she was going to be an author when she grew up.

her family is devestaded. neighbors bring food over to help them. the school wears all black for a day. her room is left exactly the way it was. a cross is placed on the spot where she died. the driver goes to jail.

and life goes on. her family heals itself. her friends think of her every now and again.

and the clock keeps ticking.

and the seasons keep changing.

and people grow and change.

and flowers grow and die and grow again.

and girls fall in love with guys who don't care.

and the government keeps screwing up.

and life just goes on.

people in China never even knew she existed. they went on with their lives and never even felt a sliver of sorrow for that girl, because they hadn't the slightest inkling she was ever living.......

so, it all leads up to this,

front porch, first kiss,

god awful first date,

classic movie, classic style,

arrived at the movie and hour late,

your waiter was a drama drag named Kyle,

blow off the norm,

go to the nearest lake,

if it weren't for that god damn storm,

yeah, there are still memories to make,

in the fucking car so long,

your both singing,

conversatitions going strong,

you listen to her upbringing,

front porch, first kiss,

she leans in,

good boy, don't miss,

she's your last regret and your simple sin,

as you walk away, you call,

"second date?"

she's stunned, she yells, "make it something small"

open car door, "i'll call you, it's not that late"

she smiles,

your heart slips,

its been miles,

and your still thinking of her lips.

Sara was a happy little six year old.

She played tag in the backyard. She dressed up for fun. She giggled and laughed. Boys gave her kisses on the cheek. She never cried.

Pne day, her mommy was driving the car. Her mom was very tired. She fell asleep at the wwheel and the car went over the side of a bridge. As the car was sinking, a very old man appeared in the car next to Sara's mom.

"Sara, do you want to escape the very cold water outside your window?" the man asked. His voice was like an unoiled door hinged, and he weezed and gasped in lurching tones.

"Yes." Sara cried. She hugged her doll tightly to her chest.

"Do you want your mommy to live?" the man asked.

"Yes." Sara cried harder.

"Then you will do as I say. Do you understand, Sara?" he asked.

"Yes." Sara criend again.

"You will become my puppet. You will have six strings, from which i will control your every movement. We will travel the world, and you will be known as, 'Sara Six Strings'. Do you understand?" Sara nodded. "Do you agree?" Sara nodded agin.

The man touched Sara's mother's eyelids. She jerked to life, groaning. The man cracked a window.

"No! What are you doing?" Sara screamed as water began to pour into the car.

"I'm giving your mom an escape hatch." he replied.

All of a sudden, Sara and the man were on the bank. Sara screamed as she saw her mother's petrified face as she tried to escape from teh flood of water. The man restrained Sara, and they watched as her mother gradually stopped moving.

"You killed her! You killed my mommy!" Sara sobbed.

"You have no mother, Sara Six Strings." The man snapped, and Sara felt a tug on her arms. She dropped her dolly, as she saw the two strings that disappeared into her skin. "Now, Sara Six Strings, we have a show tonight. In a place called, Las Vagas."

Sara soon found out that her six strings were placed in six places. One on bother her forearms, one on each of her heels, and one on each of her lower thigh.

That night, in Vagas, the man dressed her up in a frilly dress. He stood in the rafters and made Sara dance. The man got much money. When they went to a hotel room that night, the man slept on the bed, while Sara hung from the ceiling but her strings.

Years went by. Sara celebrated her 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, 14th, and 15th birthdays by dancing on a stage. As she grew into a young woman, the dresses became tighter and shorter, the dances more and more dirty. Mostlt men came to watch her.

On her 16th brithday, Sara fell down a flight of stairs. Her strings became tangled, and the man became angry.

"You stupid Puppet Girl!" he yelled, "I can't untie those strings with the arthritas in my hands! I'll have to hire someone to do it for me!"

He got on the phone and called a boy......

TO BE CONTINUED